Helma Low Baker

A letter to two sisters . . . .

It is regrettable neither of you has been able to visit for several decades so I'm writing this letter. Forgive my use of English but my German is too poor to adequately express the important things I need to say.

Helma died suddenly on September 7, 2011 of a massive heart attack. Although she had been treated for heart disease for six years, mercifully, her death was quick and painless. Allow me to share some memories.

We all remember how petite and strikingly beautiful she was: a marvelous blend of Gina Lollobrigida and Elizabeth Taylor. She was offered a movie contract twice by German producers who even pursued her to the United States. But she declined in order to be with me. However, she was far more than merely beautiful; she was vivacious, generous, talented, kind and - above all - loyal to her friends and family.

With only a high school education and without formal courses, books or training, she learned fluent English, tastefully decorated several houses, prepared - when in the mood – wonderful meals and became an excellent horsewoman. She created many lovely paintings for her home, won an art contest and was invited to join Disney Studios as an animator.

Perhaps because she was not allowed pets as a child she loved animals. She adored her own dogs, cats, horses and birds but also volunteered at the zoo, donated to many animal protection organizations and helped every sick and abandoned animal coming across her path. She ran a veritable animal "restaurant" where daily and nightly appropriate food at the appropriate time was fed to the squirrels, crows, small birds and (her favorites) raccoons. No animal ever went hungry.

Helma was even more generous and protective toward friends and family; she often gave gifts when there was no special occasion and she was quick to contribute to the unfortunate. Though tiny (5'1" & 95 lbs) she was fearless and determined. When she felt her young son was mistreated at school or when the Mayor and I were rudely heckled during a public speech, she confronted bullies, teachers and hecklers alike, backed them down and "shut them up". When she heard her girlfriend being insulted she quickly sprang to her defense and elicited an apology from the offender. She never forgot her mother, grandparents or sisters and spoke of them often and lovingly; she treasured and saved every letter, picture and memento from Germany.

Helma was flirtatious as are all beautiful women. Over the years she met governors, celebrities and one president and was offered marriage by a famous movie star and several extremely wealthy business men. But, though undoubtedly sorely tempted and threatening "divorce" at least once a month she chose to become and remain the wife of a quiet, unremarkable Texas doctor; she was faithful for 53 years and so was I.

I truly loved Helma; she filled my life with joy and excitement. I tried to spoil her with material things, gave her parties and vacations, shared (unenthusiastically) household chores and struggled constantly to protect her fragile health. Yet I'm still tormented by doubts: did I listen to her fears and dreams enough; did I leave her alone too much; did I hug her enough; did I really make her happy? Her death has left an enormous void in my life which can never be filled. I will never remarry because I could not find another like her.

I wanted you both to know how very lucky I was to have had this exceptional and devoted woman as my wife and how very lucky you were to have had her as your sister.

Please write and visit if at all possible. My telephone number is (573) 480-0247.

Love, Ray

A funeral service for Helma will be held at 4:00 p.m. on Thursday, September 15, 2011 at Penwell-Gabel Southwest Chapel, 3700 SW Wanamaker Rd, Topeka. Private family entombment will be in Mount Hope Mausoleum.

The family suggests expressions of sympathy be in the form of memorials to Helping Hands Humane Society, 2625 NW Rochester Road, Topeka, Kansas 66618.